I have never fully understood the speed with which some people, Christians especially, completely cut other people out of their lives. Oh, I get that there are toxic individuals that you are better off not spending your time with, in fact it would be dangerous to ones’ mental health to do so, and there are those individuals who seem to never learn that they themselves are the source of all their relationship woes. But for the one who claims to follow Jesus there is a wee bit of a problem with the concept of a “deal-breaker” when it comes to relationships.

Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22 NKJV)

For the three of you that have no idea who he is, The Doctor, is the central character in a British sci-fi series called Doctor Who. He is also, by far, one of the most enduring Christ-figures in all of science-fiction. A being from another world, inexplicably enamoured with humanity, willing time and time again to put himself in mortal peril for the sake of the ones he loves. And in the clip above we have the Doctor at his Christ-like best. Through all the years, and all the incarnations of the Gallifeyan time-lord, this is my favourite moment.

“Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?“

If we are to follow Jesus’ example and “love others the way He has first loved us” there is little room for deal-breakers, at the very least it should be a last-resort kind of option. Oh, I may well decide not to spend time with you, or choose not to absolve you of the consequences of your actions, but I will not stop caring for you, I will not stop loving you.

It’s important to note here that forgiveness is not a “get out of jail free card” as some have been led to believe. It is an un-deserved, compassionate, loving response born out of grace (unmerited favour). It is why God continues to love us, though we betray Him and let Him down time and time again. Though we fail to follow His precepts, though we totally suck at following Jesus’ example, through grace forgiveness and love remain. It is the bedrock, the foundation of the Gospel message.

Now, the Doctor is not God, so his response to Clara is not the result of his divine nature, quite the opposite. I think he refuses to hold Clara’s betrayal against her because he knows who he is. He is all too aware of his character flaws, his immense short-comings, he has had thousands of years to contemplate his inner-self, and is fully aware that he has committed far greater sins than Clara could ever possibly imagine. Which brings us to another moment in Matthew’s gospel.

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. (Matthew 7:12 NIV)

He looks at Clara and sees a person who is actually a better being than he is, and so, though he can never forgive himself for the things he has done, he likely yearns for someone to forgive him… so he forgives her. His love and compassion for her overrides anything she could ever do to him. When he says they have work to do, it’s not just about saving Danny, I think it’s also about saving their relationship. He doesn’t want her guilt or his bitterness to destroy it, he cares for her too much to let that happen. If he kicks her out of the Tardis that can’t happen, so once again he forgives.

And so it is with Jesus. He came into this world with the express purpose of saving us from ourselves, from our short-comings, from our sins. Sin is a loaded word, a lot of people struggle with it. My personal theology defines sin as any action or inaction that interferes with my relationships. If what I have done, or left undone inhibits our ability to be friends then I have sinned against you, if it inhibits my relationship with God, then I have sinned against God. If I have done something that makes it hard for me to like myself… well, you get the idea.

Jesus did what he did so that His grace and forgiveness would allow the relationship to continue, to grow, not just between God and ourselves, but between ourselves and others. It’s up to me to follow that example and do what I must to allow my relationships to continue to grow. This starts with grace towards others, it starts with forgiveness. It gives me closure so that guilt and bitterness do not get in the way. In short, I have work to do.